From: BINKLY::WEISENBACH "AFL - AFfLicted designers 24-Apr-1990 1543" 24-APR-1990 15:49:16.15 To: @PIG.DIS CC: Subj: Pig Party Progress! Earth Day is over. After three months of helpful ecological advice, such as "Put a brick in your toilet!" or "Don't drive your car!", it's over. No more messages of impending death to interrupt the videos on MTV. No more pointless arguing about whether global warming will be canceled by the coming Ice Age. No more stories on how long stinky plastic diapers last. So throw away those Earth Day pamphlets, spread some chemical fertilizer on the symbolic tree you planted, and let's talk pig! Pig Day '90 is coming, May 12th 1990. This will be the twentieth anniversary of Pig Day, so you know it will be special. Why, it's almost a continuation of the Earth Day festivities! The pig is a sustainable food source, even a renewable one if there are two of the right kind about and no one is looking. The porker will be slow-roasted over a non-fossil fuel, renewable source of heat, known as smoldering wood coals. The beer comes in recycleable aluminum kegs! The ashes and fat can be made into enviromentally safe soap. The remaining skin, bones, and sundry parts can be composted, which will keep the vermin happy and well-fed. Pig Day '90 will feature the traditional practices of the revered past, and the new traditions of modern society. Wood will be donated/stolen from various locales (feel free to offer wood, delivered mind you). Large kegs of a special brew will be heaved from the trunks of cars. A small band will seek out a pig in a nearby butcher shop. Someone will eventually volunteer to load a dead pig into their car. Chuck will kneel over the pig with an axe, hacking at something only he, as the tribal shaman, understands. The cleansing fires will be lit at a little before midnight on the 11th of May (stop by and get a glimpse of the `before' pig). Long, hard hours into the night, people will tend fires and tap kegs (cooks needed, apply within). Fine whisky will be poured into/onto everything (except Bob, who had a little problem with that last year). Come morning, donuts will appear (cinnamon ones are my favorite - no raspberry anythings). Soon a magical thing will happen. People will begin to gather, as if drawn by some mystical force (Yo! Party starts about 1:00, pig will be served sometime around 4:00. Feel free to stop by and talk, run errands, or generally get a head start on the good times). Then suddenly, a full-fledged party will break out! The carrying-ons go until they stop. Pig Day '90, soon to be a registered trademark, requires only a few things from those desiring to attend. One is simple presence; like Census '90, you will be counted and pig (government pork-barrel, if you will) will be appor- tioned to you. Another is a side-dish of some sort, something to share (sort of in the spirit of Earth Day again). I guess that's only a couple of things that are needed. I'll be clearer on this later. Pig Day '90 is brought to you by your hosts Chuck Benz, Lewis Lahr (and his accomodating roomates), and me, your humble announcer. This roast will mark a number of special events: 1) This will be Chuck's last pig roast as a single man. Yes, he's having himself cloned. No, of course not. He's getting married, and with the good sense to do it on a non-pig roast day. 2) This will be Susan Kollmeyer's last pig roast as a single woman. Yes, she's having herself cloned. No, of course not. She's getting married, and with the good sense to do it on a non-pig roast day. 3) Ray Strouble left DEC. It doesn't matter if you know him or not, it is an event! 4) JV Eberst will return from Texas, having conned Compaq into sending him to the CICC. It doesn't matter if you don't know him either, he'll be drunk and incomprehensible. Maybe he'll drag some other emigrees to Texas back with him! 5) The hot tub at Lew's place is working! 6) Mike and Mary will be getting married. They, too, checked the pig roast date to avoid conflicts. Such prudent, far-thinking people. Unlike others who rashly decided to get married on that day or are going to weddings on that day. You know who you are! 7) A new crop of pigsters, fresh from the cob, will be about. A special, mashed batch of pork will be available for them. 8) It will be a fantastic sunny day in the spring, after a winter of dreary days. More than reason enough to come out. ******************************************** *********** REMEMBER these important points: ******************************************** Pig Day '90 is on May 12th. Drop what your doing and go to it! You, friends, and loved ones are invited. Wood, cooks, and donuts are needed. Cooking shifts are as follows: 11pm - 1am -- Wimp shift 11pm - 3am -- Hardy Adventurer shift 1am - 7am -- Graveyard shift 5am - 9am -- Saviour shift 9am - 1pm -- Early Riser shift 1pm - 4pm -- Martyr shift 11pm - 4pm -- Zombie shift 1pm - 2pm -- Short Attention Span shift any 15 minute time period -- Just Curious shift Side-dishes will be required. Something to nutritionally compliment the protein of the pork and the carbohydrates of the beer. Alternative foods (for veg's and for the horrified) and alternative drinks will be provided. >> More details will follow. If this is the first message you received, go out >> and thank someone for remembering you!